So I am about to turn 24 next month.Yeah well I am not exactly over the moon nor am I touchy about the whole getting old part.My mind is in a conundrum albeit neutral.. Except my parents are officially going to start looking for a groom.For me! It definitely freaks me out a little bit.I would be lying if the idea of love, of finding someone close to, if not the quintessential “soul mate” had’t crossed my mind and at times even taken over. But then again I have seen way too much heartbreak, cheating, extra marital mayhem all around me ,with people who found their supposed soul mates.
So its no surprise I am in two minds.A friend told me the other day that the best way to look at the whole marriage incident is as ones’ luck or fate. Which does nothing to calm or reassure me one tiny bit. I mean the decision of spending the next fifty odd years with some one cant possibly be left to fate,can it?! I have seen the best of love marriages fail and the least expected arranged marriages with flimsy compatibility flourish beyond any one's dreams.I have seen true loves and dream companions wreck their partners lives beyond repair.Which makes me think about my aversion to arranged marriage.
In the end I want everything with whoever it is that I am going to end up with.And I want some things more over others.It definitely transcends trivial criteria and/or horoscopic matches.Its gotta be All or Nothing,if it is a person I like/love and I am quite sure I will not tolerate deviation from main priorities and principles.
I dint realize I was so old school. Of my emphatic views on the sanctity of marriage and non negotiable fidelity. Of mutual trust, loyalty and respect. Of intellectual stimulation and being able to enjoy Scrabble and pictionery apart from just physical attraction. The ‘forever’ and ‘growing old together’ cliche's firmly in place in my head.On that note,I would like to reiterate my earlier statement of being in a neutral conundrum...More like pessimistic interminable gloom and an uncertain, confused anticipation of disaster..?Somebody give me a crystal ball!
2 comments:
Ugh! Dont get me started on that.. somehow birthdays are nightmares that I dread :( especially since i turned 21. And the thought of marriage even if its love.. is pretty scary since not everything works out they way we want/expect it too.. and that incredibly scary!
-SP-
I am no one to comment, but its not THAT bad. The reason why so many people around you seem to end up hurt is because most of them get into relationships half heartedly. Maybe, people with less than fully mature minds shouldn't ever consider a serious relationship in the first place. And over the last few weeks I've had an epiphany of sorts. And this really applies to women your age. Women are "ready" at 23. Men aren't ready till at least 28. So you can't judge relationships or marriages on the basis of experiences with immature testosterone guided guys, its just not fair on the "better" lot. And on some level, why most Indian marriages last is because of the whole "horoscope" matching part. Atleast that ensures basic compatibility. In the end, no one is perfect.. its all about making compromises while keeping your goals in sight :) All the best! Obviously I'll be there at your wedding :D reminding you of the lovely times us single ppl have in front of us :D
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